Married, single, divorced?  You don’t want to miss this interview!

I recently requested an interview with Julie McLindon, a Life Coach, asking her to share some insight into how clutter or disorganization may affect relationships since relationships are her specialty.  She accepted!

The first part of our interview is geared towards couples and empty nesters.

Before I go any further, I want to thank Julie for giving up some of her Summer Vacation to share her thoughts with all of us.  Thank you, Julie!

I have noticed that decluttering, organizing, and beautifying their homes is a huge step for them.  It seems these couples have come to a point of needing to reconnect with each other on a deeper level.  In my opinion, they are on a journey of self-discovery and are headed in the right direction.

Julie: What comes to me first as I read this scenario is a saying that we use often in coaching, “What’s happening on the outside is a reflection of what’s going on inside.”

This couple has reached a transition point in their lives together (empty nest).  It’s not unusual to need to “reconnect” after the kids have left home.  Lots of stuff, both physical and emotional can build up in a relationship during the years of raising children, establishing careers, etc.  And, since the outside reflects the inside, clearing out their home together is a great way to a new and fresh start.  As they clear out the physical “stuff” that has accumulated, the emotional stuff will begin to clear itself out as well, leaving room for a new phase of their relationship to develop.

Melody: On the other hand, there are couples whose relationships are suffering due to clutter and disorganization.  One person may be having a hard time letting go or doesn’t understand why the clutter or disorganization is upsetting to their partner.

Can you describe what the upset partner may be feeling and then describe some possible reasons why the “less organized” or “more cluttered” person may be “hiding, blocking, or trapping” themselves behind their clutter?  OR possible reasons why the “less organized” person does not feel like there is a problem with the way they live?  Are they being resistant?

How is this preventing him/her from having a happier, healthier relationship with not only their partner, but with his/herself?

Julie: The major difference between this couple and the first couple you described is that the first couple is working toward an agreed upon goal, and this couple hasn’t reached that place of agreement yet.

As always, each couple is unique. There could be so many things in play here from varying levels of tolerance for clutter to the hiding, blocking and resistance you mention.  What’s important here is that each partner is coming into the conversation from a place of love and understanding and not a place of anger and frustration.

Melody: Julie, this is really good stuff and I know I could talk to you forever about this topic.  I’m looking forward to sharing the rest of your insights.

Coming Soon! Part II & Part III: Relationships and Clutter

Julie’s coaching work is done by phone, so she has had the privilege of supporting clients across the country as they create new and exciting possibilities for their lives.  Her areas of specialty include Life Transitions & Healing Within or After a Relationship.   Julie has a master’s degree in counseling and is certified as a life coach by the Ford Institute for Integrative Coaching.

Julie offers a complimentary 30 minute sample session.  Take her up on it!  Contact Julie via email julie@juliemclindon.com.  You may also visit Julie’s website for more information.

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