As a thank you to a lady for being there for me during a tough time, I offered to help her clean out her bedroom because I knew from snippets of our conversations that she secretly desires to clean it out.
Every now and then she would, out of the blue, in our non-related-to-her-home conversations, laugh and mention excuses of why it wouldn’t matter if she went through everything in her room to clean it out and open up the space:
- He wants to keep everything and he’ll hover over me watching every move I make
- I know there is stuff in there that I can throw away, but I don’t have anywhere to put the stuff I do want to keep
- A lot of the stuff in there is for the grand kids, because they show up with no extra clothes and I have toys for them to play with
- I don’t have time. I’m so tired. I work 6 days a week. And I work 2 jobs. I don’t want to do anything when I get home, but put my feet up. I don’t even like answering my phone because it will be someone who asks me to take them somewhere or do something for them. I’m tired. My Mom calls and leaves messages all day long. She knows I’m working. I tell her I’m coming on Tuesday.
- I don’t even know what we’d find. I don’t want you to see all that stuff. A lot of that stuff is for Christmas. I start buying Christmas presents right after Christmas, because it’s expensive to do it all at once. I wouldn’t be able to get all the kids and grand kids presents if I didn’t. A lot of the stuff in my room helps hide my presents.
- It doesn’t matter if I clean it out, it will get back just like it was. We’ll be wasting time. At least the rest of the house isn’t as bad as my room. We keep the door closed. I’m used to it.
My answer of why it does matter:
- We’ll include him in the work. He can hover the entire time and help make all the decisions. You may be surprised at how much he’ll begin to say “oh yeah, we don’t need that old thing.”
- Even if you don’t have anywhere to put the stuff you want to keep, you may be surprised at how neat and tidy we can make it so it doesn’t take up as much space.
- If you stop keeping so many things for the grand kids, then they’ll start remembering to bring extra clothes. You can keep plenty for them, but most of them have outgrown those clothes. We’ll fill one dresser in the other bedroom with the grand kids stuff. That’s all they need. Two drawers for the boys and three drawers for the girls. We’ll get all the toys together and you can pick out their favorites and your favorites. We’ll put them in one area, so they can play to their heart’s content.
- We’ll work on one handful of items at a time. I’ll ask you questions and you answer. There are no wrong answers. I’ll be your energy. We’ll take snack breaks, fresh air breaks, and jump on the trampoline. Just give me your entire day off. You’ll sleep very hard that night.
- It doesn’t matter what we find. I don’t care what we come across. It will make it more fun. You can still hide your presents. We’ll cleverly disguise them.
- Even if it gets back just the way it was, it doesn’t matter because seeing the smile on your face and the twinkle in your eye and the happiness in your heart and the lightness in your body and the pride in your stance and the laughter in your voice and the full breath of air you take as you soak it all in…is worth it. You are worth it. You deserve to walk into your bedroom and feel peaceful. You deserve to wake up, even if for only one morning, and not want to leave your room. You deserve to walk in and out of your open door several times that one day in utter disbelief and satisfaction. And I want to help you feel that…
I’ll be your energy, so you can experience it, even if for just one day.
Are you a giver, like this woman is? It’s time for you to receive.